Living with Hormonal Shifts Puberty and Perimenopause

A friend of mine in her early 50s shared something with me, “I’m in a tricky situation, my daughter has started her middle school and is experiencing her early periods and all the symptoms that accompany them. From cramps, acne, breast tenderness to mood swings, she’s experiencing it all. On the other hand, I’m facing the music of perimenopause, hence the mood changes. Also specifically, hot flashes, insomnia, and night sweats. So you could say I am hitting reverse puberty. I have been calm throughout her toddler tantrums, but now I just can't do it anymore”.

My friend mentioned that she does not want to lose years with her daughter, lose her child’s youth. She recognizes the uncontrolled and untreated perimenopause symptoms, and that these make her pick fights with her daughter.

If we think from the daughter’s perspective, she has had a rational, balanced, caring and emotionally present mother, but she is now looking at someone who is behaving at the moment irrationally, blasting off at the tiniest of things and not engaging emotionally.

Overseen socio-biological construct

Living in a privileged society allows us to explore such topics; compared to the 60s or 70s, women have started to typically opt for later pregnancies. This is characteristic of the new world, where practicality dictates career, financial, and emotional stability, which understandably takes precedence over motherhood and family development.

A young female on the cusp of rising puberty and a middle-aged woman on the decline of her fertility are opposite sides of the same coin. Scientifically, the estrogen and progesterone levels in young females are rising, where the body is learning and adjusting to the concept of producing and releasing eggs. In contrast, the middle-aged woman’s body is winding down with the ovaries running out of eggs, making her period flow irregularly. The body (including hormones) is preparing for a subsequent exit from fertility into menopause; basically, the hormones are going up and down like a rollercoaster. Urinary incontinence is also something that women may experience once they enter menopause.

Management and Treatment:

In households with this “Yin-Yang of hormones”, people end up navigating through the subtleties of cultural and psychological upheavals. Open and transparent conversations within the household, notwithstanding the cultural canvas, is the safest way to address these shades of biological predicament. A helpful and understanding partner will surely go a long way in handling this situation. Its important to understand that menopause and puberty aren’t shameful things, they’re as normal as eating, drinking, and sleeping.

More discussions and acceptance is required to discuss middle-aged motherhood. Perimenopause symptoms can be treated by consulting a healthcare provider who may recommend antidepressants, Hormone replacement therapy (HRT), healthy eating habits, regular exercise, meditation and general lifestyle changes.